LEAVING THE PARENTS BEHIND

Since this quarantine started, we have been making sure that we get enough sunlight for the day. Every morning, at around 6:30-7:30am, we go out in front of our unit to receive mister sunshine with open arms. We love the warmth and the hope given by each ray. And as consistent as our routine, a lady in the next unit always greets us as soon as we open our door. She is also usually up by that time, doing their laundry. The homeowner in that unit is a newly wed couple, and this lady greeting us is the wife’s mom. When the couple began settling down in their unit, this mom would visit them once in a while. But she now stays with them because of the couple’s little one who came out last year. This is where my thoughts came from. They are both out of jealousy and gratitude.

I envy this couple. They have all the help they need from their loving mother, from the household chores to taking care of their child while they work. I must say, they are blessed to have such a caring mom. My pregnancy further supports these thoughts. When my pregnancy symptoms showed up, I could not do the usual things I was doing before. I needed to take care of myself and baby. During the first trimester, I felt like my uterus would come out just by standing for 10-15 minutes. Pau worked his best to clean, cook, and do the laundry for us before or after his office work. My extra sensitive taste buds and nose even added problems to his cooking. My husband served me and the little one with all his heart. It was beautiful yet painful. Seeing him overworked created conflict in my heart. So I thought, how different would it be if we got one of our moms with us? Maybe things would be a little convenient for us.

This quarantine changed my perspective. Yes, it is difficult not to have our parents with us. We have to do everything by ourselves, as well as learn and discover stuff on our own or by asking other couples. However, the current situation gave us more than a month of being together as husband and wife and a better glimpse on living on our own. This is the longest time we are together at home after our marriage. And we are having the best time so far! We can do whatever we want because we are at the comfort of our own place-just the two of us. We enjoy our moments of cuddling up and watching movies in whatever position we want. We cherish our time in the garden during our daily morning sunbathing and even the flirting while he is cooking or I am doing the dishes. We talk about everything and anything. We express ourselves freely. We dream seemingly impossible things and plan for Fave’s coming. Needless to say, this quarantine period is our much needed time as a couple. We are loving it! And I think this would not be the same experience if we were living with our parents or they were living with us. You know why: there would be many adjustments as a couple and as in-laws.

Leaving the parents behind. I meant no offense here. We may have moved out from our family houses, but we have no intentions of leaving them alone. We still check them once in a while. Do they still have budget for food? Are they doing fine? We worry about their welfare. At such a time as this, we do wish they are with us for our peace of mind. We only left the place of our comfort, not them. 

I only want to share a biblical principle that we did not know will be so real and meaningful to us this season. 

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife,

and they shall become one flesh.” – Genesis 2:24

Our experiences are affirming us that we decided correctly when we invested in our own house and left those of our parents. (Well, the reality is we have already been physically separated from them since our college days). If we did not “leave” them, we will not learn how to stand on our own. We will not be able to explore my husband’s capacity (as well as mine) to lead a family. With what we did, we become more responsible with our decisions and their consequences. We develop respect and learn how to prioritize each other. We mature emotionally, and we understand better why we should resolve our conflicts. Are they enough to present my point?

We love our parents. There is no doubt about that. We will never leave them, but we will march forward in building our own beautiful family. Cheers to more learnings!